…where did (do) we go wrong?
my son is a staff minister in the midwest and he had to deal yesterday with the suicide of a young man. the young man had grown up in the church but had taken another path that led him to such loss of hope that he turned to a gun instead of GOD or the church. do we take any responsibility as the church when something like that happens or is it all on the shoulders of the young man?
October 25th, 2006 at 7:14 pm
I don’t know who should take responsibility when things like that happen, but i think there are some questions that we can ask and I’m not even sure I know how to ask or where the answers would come from so I will start from a different perspective.
A few weeks ago we had our women’s retreat. It was based on John 4. Jesus and the woman at the well. Sharing our vulnerabilites, getting to know each other on a new level becoming closer friends and coming closer to Jesus. At the same time before hand a few minor glitches happened that were beyond control and i just dealt with, a few were unhappy and I felt bad about it, but couldn’t help it. Life goes on. The next morning I had been told that the molehill had been more, but life still went on. I woke up that morning not needing to hear any of that because I woke up sick and I had to speak both sessions that morning and run the music the last session. Everything went well from what I was told. I have no idea what I said the last session. The whole evening before had opened up walls that had been built when I was in high school. That is how vulnerable I felt. I was sick to my stomach on top of the stupid cold. I had no one I could talk to then and for many years after. Sure I could tell one person one thing and another person another thing, but I was never in a safe enough place to share everything about me with one single person. Not until I was in my 30’s. I don’t know exactly what that young man was feeling, but I can imagine.
My life is not like that now I know. But at the same time in some ways its the same. God knows everything about me and loves me and I love him. Yes I go through hard times and I praise Him all the more for it. He makes me stronger for it and for every hard time I’ve gone through he has put someone in my life to witness to who has gone through the the same or similar problem. The only other person who knows everything about me moved to Florida a couple of years ago and God put her in my life at the right time for a purpose and we were both blessed. I think the thing that the church needs to do is to figure out a way that would draw out people who are in the church to be able to share with someone on a one on one basis like prayer partners or such so they don’t have to feel that ‘they can’t be accepted here because of some “past sin” God may have forgiven me for but if they really knew me they wouldn’t like me’, kind of thing. I know it was thoughts like that that help contribute to keeping me out of church for 17 year. God is way more forgiving than people.
October 25th, 2006 at 8:00 pm
It’s really tragic when we miss things that are right in front of us. People saw this young man everyday I’ll bet, but they missed the signs. Or maybe they sensed something but didn’t take the time to become that involved and vulnerable. I really think that when we are vulnerable others can be safe with us. If we are busy hiding our own junk then no one else is safe to bring up theirs.
October 26th, 2006 at 6:07 am
you said the magic word. “TIME” You need to be willing to take the time to get to know people and you will be amazed at what they will share with you. When we are vulnerable we can be taking a huge risk, which is nothing short of what Jesus did for us so why shouldn’t we at least go out on that limb?