…but what did they mean?
have you ever thought about how important it is to know someone before you criticize them? i mean they may say something and you put them down for what they said because of what you thought they meant but you may have been way off base because you didn’t know them.
what i’m talking about is, communication is all about definitions. i say a word that communicates what i mean. now all of that is based upon my defnition of the words that i use but your understanding of what i mean is based upon your defintion so if your definitions are different than mine then we have not communicated.
i have been reading a blog that has been discussing an article that was critcal of another person and their beliefs especially in their use of certain words. now my perception was that it was all about different defintions.
in some areas of canada the word chesterfield means a sofa but a chesterfield in my world means cigarette. so if i say chesterfield and i am meaning cigarette but you are hearing sofa, then we are in no way going to be communicating. and that is the problem that some of us have in communicting to a traditional CHRISTian world let alone a non-CHRISTian world, and that brings me back to our need in this world of front porches. we need a place that we can really get to know each other, to hear our stories, to understand our biases, to find out our defintions but the problem is that takes time and we would just rather criticize based upon our stories, biases, agendas, defintions but for the most part we then may be way off base.
i really believe that people are worth the time and the effort to get to know especially with the fact that time is short and there are a lot of people out there who don’t know anything about GOD except about what they think we GOD followers mean when we say all this negative stuff that turns them off.
i want to really get to know them and let them get to know me by going to a front porch where they go and spending time with them. i want them to know what GOD’s definition of love is which is probably different than what many of their definition is. i want to be a living defintion of GOD’s love because life is short but eternity is forever.
March 11th, 2006 at 8:31 am
Bill you are so right! Communicaiton can be complicated. For the last several months I have been working on a major project at work. We have been doing a data base conversion and I have become so aware of how important communication is Not being a computer person by any stretch of the imagination, I have found that I do not speak computer speak, in additinal our vendor is from another country and his accent is very thick so not only do I have difficulty “understanding him” when I do, I don’t “understand” what he is saying. There has been much finger pointing and blame as time after time new problems have come up and adjustments have had to be made. Several weeks ago when I was extremely frustrated and ready to be ugly all over him I heard that still small voice of God’s loving Holy Spirit and the message was “show him kindness, show him understanding” Resistance cropped up in my own spirit as I reminded the Lord how this person was condescending toward women, arrogant and rude but again the same still small voice. I reluctantly prepared for the meeting I had demanded during my anger. I gathered bottled waters, gummy bears, and fireballs, moved into an empty office with a round table and greeted the project team with a smile and a “have a snack and let’s be friends” attitude. You woudl not believe what a differene it has made. The vendor and his team now repsond promptly to our problems and even drop by to see how things are going always asking for a gummy bear which has become their new favorite snack (something they had never tired before) Did this act of kindness done reluctantly by me change the fact that we still have difficulty communicating? NO but God was showing me that everyone understands kindness and we can communicate who God is anytime anywhere to any person. Love is the universal language and sharing Christ is not always telling people who He is but rather showing them how He would respond. Let’s keep communicating and never give up!
March 11th, 2006 at 9:18 am
Margaret, that is so awesome. That is a great illustration of the problem and the solution to our communicating with people. Thanks for your imput.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
I love this posting. I think it’s hard sometimes to slow down and act from the heart instead of the head, but when we do, I think the love we show can give so much more breakthrough than anger and logic ever can. It’s the heart of God set free into a situation. I had a similar thing happen at work. My company is full of people who do a very tough job and think themselves very tough. Because I try to be kind and reasonable all the time, they think I am weak. Some time ago, I lent someone some money and then she got fired! A week later I heard she was leaving town and I’d heard nothing about being repaid. So I went directly to the person and calmly and kindly went with her to the atm while she got me the money, and I left her with love. I mentioned this to one person at work and it went round the office like wildfire. Suddenly everyone was looking at me differently. Suddenly they didn’t see me as weak anymore. I couldn’t believe how much it all changed! It turns out, not one of these toughies said they would have had the nerve to go and get the money back. I did, because I never stopped loving the person. When I “confronted” her, we didn’t get into any accusatory discussion, we just got the job done and I left her with her dignity in tact. I smiled to myself as I sat at my desk. I’d not changed, but what a difference it made when people perceived me differently. I could see it in their eyes! What a pity we think strength has to be loud and tough and aggressive. It’s takes far more strength to be kind and bring gummy bears to a meeting than it does to lose your temper.